Flying, driving, crowds, noise
It’s been coming on slowly all day
You’ve been fighting what seems like a war
It’s paralyzing, terrifying
You try to stay in control
You don’t want to make a scene
It’s winning you don’t have the energy to fight
You can’t breathe, you can’t move
The tears start to trickle down your cheek
Your whole body starts to shake
The demon, panic has been released
You try desperately to reign it back in
To no avail this time you’ve lost the battle.
Next time you will be stronger.

Thanks for reading,


October 22,2016
I wrote this after having a major meltdown as our plane left San Antonio, Texas. I haven’t been able to fly since I came to crazytown. This was my return trip home.




Going back to treatment
It’s nothing bad to need help
Or to be ashamed of

It’s just a tune-up
We all can use one from time to time
I mean us
The broken, emotionally sick
The mentally ill

Our mind is hurting again
We’re overwhelmed
Completely beat down
It’s hard out there

We need the safety of the group
The camradery
People who get us
Without even a word spoken

Allowing you to share your feelings
Your most private thoughts and fears
Knowing they will understand
Knowing they will hold you up
Knowing someone listened

These are your people
They are your kindred spirits
Because unlike anyone else
They have lived in this chaos
Surrounded by Darkness
Wearing their masks
They’ve cried the tears
They’ve screamed in pain

Yet they sit beside you
Holding your hand
Telling you it’s going to be okay
While they’re dying inside
Hoping to make it another day

Thanks for reading,

I just finished my 3rd time as an outpatient in a treatment center. Before I went in my Aunt told me to look at it as a tune-up. I can’t tell you how much that helped me. I shared that with others and it seemed to help them too. 😊


How often have you been on this journey of mental illness
Going down the road thinking “I’ve overcome a lot of barriers
I’ve also had my share of rocky roads.”

But, you still thought you were heading in the right direction

Only to find out you were going in circles?

This is the place where we realize our mind is not always our friend
It’s where we need to find a good support system
Help to guide us through the darkness, and the shadows
Alone we get turned around without even realizing it.

It creeps up on us so slowly we are not
Aware until we are in crisis mode
Then it’s too late we are too overwhelmed
To seek the help we need.

Walking this journey with support is extremely hard and scary
Walking it alone might be what keeps us on the dark path
Or an even darker one, DEATH!

Thanks for reading,


Two steps forward
Three steps back
That’s how it feels
In this world of crazy

They say….

You’re the one who
Never gets things or hears things right
Because you’re crazy

They say…

You’re too sensitive
Blow things out of proportion
Get upset over nothing
No one to blame but yourself

They say….

If you would just be more normal
Don’t think like you do
Just answer a simple question
Make it easier for us

They say….

You could if you’d just try
Quit being you and reading into it
Quit being you and forget it
Quit being you and get over it

They say…

Quit being you and be normal
Quit being you and be quiet
Quit being you and put the mask back on
Then I can be me again and live like I want.

Thanks for reading,




Letting go of the past
All the pain and hurt
Throw away the journals
Erase the iPad

But, the memories still remain
Every word, every act against you
Like it was yesterday
Cutting like a knife

You want it gone
It only brings darkness
Chaos and fear
Loneliness and isolation

You’ve been told what to do
Easier said than done
Let it go and forgive him
Or he’s the one who wins

Thanks for reading,


I’m afraid of the dark
Yes, me a grown woman
I’ve never liked the darkness
But, the fear came with crazy town

I can’t rest well I can’t go to bed
I sleep every other night
Because I’m so exhausted I can rest
It’s not ideal but the monsters stay away

People ask what’s so scary
It’s hard to explain
Unless you have lived through it
It’s just spine tingling scary

You can’t see what’s out there
You don’t know what’s out there
In crazy town your mind says
Anything and everything could be lurking
Just outside your door, window, or under your bed

You can tell your mind to be quiet
But, it is louder than you are
And haunts you till the darkness goes away
And daylight chases away the monsters

Then you’re safe for a few hours
Before the darkness returns
With your deepest fears

Thanks for reading,