THE RABBIT HOLE

I feel like I’m sliding down the rabbit hole again
Slowly slipping, slipping, slipping
I didn’t even realize it was happening
Then BAM!! It hit me I was falling

It seems that’s how it always goes
That’s the really scary part
You never seem to really know
It’s happening till you’re
So far down you need a rope
To pull you back out

Life support, help from outside
How do I always seem to miss the signs
It just sneaks up on me

Maybe I just don’t want to face
That I’m headed down that path again
So I ignore the feelings and tuck them away

You are slowly putting on your mask
That part you don’t even realize you’re
Taking part in either
That’s the odd part about mental illness

Your mind can play so many tricks on you
You have like little compartments
I’m each compartment you keep
Different emotions, feelings, thoughts
Ideas, fear, anger, happiness, love,
Hate, sadness, anxiety, panic

Then you never allow those compartments to come open
At the same time. That’s when chaos happens and the walls
Come tumbling down. Everything breaks down.
The mask goes on and you go down the rabbit hole

Often never to come back out again
Because how many times can you go down the hole
Before it’s to hard to climb back out and start over.
It takes so much work to work through all the compartments
Empty them and make them stay open and not allow
Them to close again, you have to rid yourself of all those
Negative things that are in those compartments.
You need to make sure they are filled with good and happy things
Which is why it takes so much work and is hard.
It’s a daily struggle. Some make it, some just slide back in the hole.
Never to see above ground again.

 

Thanks for reading,

J9

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