I WANT TO REMEMBER

I want to remember when I’m tempted to restrict, because I never want to go back.

I want to remember what a struggle each and every day was, when I’m tempted
to restrict.

I want to remember what I did to my body and how close I came to killing myself without even knowing, when I’m tempted to restrict.

I want to remember the scared look on my husbands face just before I checked in, when I’m tempted to restrict.

I want to remember the joy on his face everyday I succeeded, when I’m tempted to restrict.

I want to remember the tears in my mother-in-laws voice when I called her and told her I was moving to the night program and that I was at a stable weight, when I’m tempted to restrict.

I want to remember all those who have supported me and given me hope when I had none, when I’m tempted to restrict.

I want to remember the smiles and unconditional love that I get from my granddaughters, when I’m tempted to restrict.

I want to remember all of these things, when I’m tempted to restrict. Because I have so much to live for.

Thank you for reading,
J9

I wrote this almost 2 years ago when I was in treatment for my eating disorder. I have taken out the names for privacy sake otherwise it remains the same.

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