When I first went to crazy town I could not see anything that I could learn from it.
I could not see how there could be anything positive I could take from it.
I never asked why me, that is not me. I have never questioned God. I don’t believe God gave these horrible illnesses to me. But, I believe for some reason he has allowed me to have them for a time. Or maybe for life.
He tells us in his word there are things we can learn or take from all of our trials.
I truly did not believe that at the beginning of this.
Now, several years later I can see positive things.
I’m not the judgmental person I was before my illness. I try very hard to not judge at all. It’s not my place. That took me way too long to learn.
I have also become a kinder person, I believe, I’m more empathetic to people in all walks of life.
I,like many, was very arrogant first thinking it could never happen to me because I was strong . And that people got themselves into most of their situations and if they really wanted they could get out of them.
I’m embarrassed to even admit this to anyone who is reading this.
I have often wondered if my illnesses are punishment for the way I was. I have asked forgiveness for my ways to God and to as many as I have been able to go back to.
I think another good thing that has come from this is that maybe I can help others who struggle with Agoraphobia, Panic/Anxiety Disorder, Depression,and Eating Disorders. If nothing else I can let them know they are not alone and I’m there for them.
I pray for all of those out there suffering from any kind of mental illness. I think we are often overlooked the most and listened to the least. When sometimes we are the ones who are the least able to speak up for ourselves. Don’t give up on yourselves, there is help out there and there are so many of us who care.
God Bless,
J9
